NEVER BELIEVE ARTISANS, THEIR WRISTWATCHES LIE!

Should a mechanic, tailor, carpenter, electrician, painter etc ever tell you - 30 minutes, before 1 hour, 1 day, by tomorrow….do not! I repeat and i say, do not!!! Do not ever believe them!

For clearer understanding, let me infuse the above in sentences:-

‘Madam your dress go ready by tomorrow’. ‘Oga before 30 minutes I go bring your motor come’. ‘In 1 hours’ time, I go paint am finish’. Need I go on?

Now, i am an authority in being disappointed by artisans so take ye my words as yea and amen! Consider with me the painter who once told me that he will finish painting some railings in 45 minutes. My brethren…. (I pause, put my hand on my jaw, close my eyes slowly and shake my head…), I was at the same place from 1pm to 6pm. 45 minutes!

Once again ponder with me, upon the mechanic who said the painting of a car will be done in 3 days. My dear brethren…(I clap my hands slowly, amebo style– right hand on top of left, left hand on top of right and right hand on top of left again. Then i hang my left hand on my left hip and sigh deeply). The car was returned 3 days…...and one week after.

Don’t rush me please! Just wait because I have more testimonies. I implore you to reminisce with me one more time, on the tailor who told me that my aso-ebi for a wedding will be ready in 2 weeks. Brethren (I fold my hands across my chest like a village person; I utter suddenly….. ‘Hian!’) 

Well, I guess the only explanation for why 1 hour cannot be 1 hour and 2 days bluntly refuses to be 2 days with artisans, is because they are made to swear an oath during their ‘freedom’ (go ahead and pretend like you don’t know what I mean…rolling my big eyes. Freedom is the passing out parade of apprentices from their masters).

Now the oath:

‘I Wasiu the mechanic (or whatever profession as applicable), hereby pledge to frustrate the lives of customers, who will come my way, demanding for tasking jobs to be done in the shortest possible time for the cheapest possible amount, with the most perfect outcome possible. I will purposely mislead them, to make their schedules and plans center around my misleading timing. I will not make phone calls to inform them that I have not finished the job. I will not pick their calls and let them wait in painful confusion. I will eventually dislodge their plans and take extra time, way more than the initial time frame I promised to complete their jobs. This I do so undertake’.

Look, it has to be the above pledge….or why else do they all behave in the same manner? Well, it may or may not be true but my brethren, that’s……Just My Take!

 

PS: Are you still waiting to know what happened with the tailor? Hahahaha! I can’t even give you an answer because I condemned the material with the said tailor in frustration, after several visits. Lol…..